Toast to Time...

Gotta agree that I hardly blog...even if I did..usually be on something general.

Used to have a blog before this ~ jlcoral@blogspot.com. Actually quite a waste to shut down that blog...wrote a number of stuff...my thoughts, my emotions and of coz...the pics...I even wrote poems...manz! A blog that I posted almost everyday.

Guess somehow along the way, I got really weary with life. Hit a point that I decided not to post anymore (until I met Butter and decided to start this blog :)

Felt that many simple things that we wish for don't come easily. Those who were being hit by the worst would understand. So what's worst? Well, you can't compare which is the worst..perhaps it's a point where you are at your most vulnerable to give up everything including yourself. I believe everyone will come to a stage where you will have to face and question yourself.

I think and worry alot at times...but somehow, I will get over and move on. It's my nature to worry..and it's faith that helps to overcome *wink*

There is one thing that has been lying very heavy in my heart....the loss of my grandma. Somehow I feel very guilty for not treasuring her when she was alive. I took her totally for granted. For someone like me who had never lost someone in death before...thought a family member will always be there for you no matter rain or shine.....I know that death is part of life....everyday there are people dying....but when her death came....it was so hard to accept. And from then, I realised that the stuff I used to cry over was nothing compared to the loss of someone who brought me up as a child.

still miss her and dreamt of her every now and then.

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Year 2007 was a tough year. I made a huge decision to quit a job of almost 7 years and thought I could spend some time at home...then 3 weeks later my grandma suddenly got admitted to hospital and passed away over a month...and then other things went wrong as well.......the whole period...told myself to hold on ya....perhaps that was how I was able to take 3 hours of sleep...went to work few hours after party.....and believe it or not, I managed to have all the energy to work almost 10 hours a day (for 6 days a week in the beauty company)...and sometimes I still went out after work. I put on a smile and became kinda crappy (I also snacked alot...main reason for putting on weight)...pretence or whatsoever but it did help to get over those days. Many times, I laughed at myself.... a person who always thought so highly of herself could end up in such a stage...perhaps I asked for it.

So now you know why I always say I'm so lucky. Coz certain things which I'm having now seem to be a wish come true.....it's like getting something so simple and yet we gotta wish for that. Not going to put exactly in words...believe someone out there will understand what I'm trying to say here. After all the lessons and all this time...I have been learning to grasp the simple rules of life and to be a better person.
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And ...*sign*..... one of the of the reasons why I hardly blog is ~~~I usually sleep after shower when I reach home. Have much sleep to catch heh